koukla carolyn

Leaf, face down; ink and colored pencil; Carolyn Pappas, 2008

Leaf, face up; graphite; Carolyn Pappas, 2008

“The artist must find an environment, a pattern of living, that will protect his or her energies: the art must be cultivated, must be given priority.”

“A journal as an experiment in consciousness. An attempt to record not just the external world, and not just the vagrant, fugitive, epemeral ‘thoughts’ that brush against us like gnats, but the refractory and inviolable authenticity of daily life: daily-ness, day-ness, day-lightness, the day’s eye of experience.”

-Joyce Carol Oates  

I’ve been reading The Journal of Joyce Carol Oates: 1973-1982, although I haven’t read much of her fiction writing except for a few short stories for college. I love reading about her process and the struggles she had with balancing her day job of being a college professor with her writing demands. It reminds me a lot of how I feel with my artwork. I have recently been really driving myself to draw daily, even if only for an hour after work. It does invigorate me and I enjoy tracking my progress on a little grid that I keep. I’ve been trying to really challenge myself even if that means making a lot of drawings that I would never post. I think there’s really no way that I will ever improve unless I take some risks and try to do something different.

The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me;
your love, O LORD, endures forever—
do not abandon the works of your hands.
                           Psalm 138:8

I have done more painting and sketching this week than I have since July. I basically forced myself to draw after work this week, even though I would rather sit and watch tv. Another reason why I think I was more productive is that I have changed my schedule at work, now leaving an hour earlier. You see, I am a morning person and find it extremely difficult to draw at night. Now I am not quite so tired when I get home and it is a bit easier to get out the sketchbook.

I did read something on Nina Johansson’s blog which I liked. She is now doing weeklong spreads, so as to spread the sketching over multiple days. The whole idea is that even if you are really busy, you probably have time to add to a sketch little by little over the week. And at the end of the week, you still have something to show for yourself. I think I will try this out as well and will start tomorrow.

Hibiscus, watercolor and colored pencil on 5×7 Strathmore watercolor greeting card, Carolyn Pappas, 2008

These days the market has been on my mind more than any other topic. I keep track of it while at work during the day and the obsession seems to have followed me home for the past two weeks as well. I normally try to do some sketching after work, but these past two weeks I have been glued to the tv listening to all the updates on the bailout negoitiations and worrying myself sick.

Yesterday, I decided that enough is enough. I sat down and finished this painting that I had been wanting to finish for a long time. I had the flower sketched out and the blank greeting card taped down to my board but I had not gotten around to acually painting it for a long time now. I experimented by using masking fluid to retain the whites in the spots for the pollen. It was frustrating because I found I did not have a lot of control over my application. And the stuff dried so fast! I ended up going over the whole thing with colored pencils after I painted it in watercolor and I really love the bold color that I ended up with, especially in the background. I found that the few hours of distraction was beneficial to my mood and my outlook.

When all these people on the news are scaring us with images of the Great Depression, the one passage of Scripture that comes instantly to mind is this one from Matthew 6:25-33:

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

 ”And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Whoever trusts in his riches will fall, but the righteous will thrive like a green leaf. Proverbs 11:28

Fig Leaf Sketch, ballpoint and colored pencil, Carolyn Pappas 2008

Garden Sketch (8/30/08), black pitt pens in kraft paper sketchbook, Carolyn Pappas 2008

Drawing leaves outside has been sort of a theme for me lately. I guess the main reason is that I figure that soon it will be too cold to do a lot of sketching outside and by the time I get home from work, it will be dark. I am already preparing a list of ideas for still lifes and reference photos to use for the colder season.

Despite having an extra day off, I wasn’t very productive in the art department. I have been so tired out from everything that has been going on in my life that I just lounged around at my parent’s house. I had a lot of fun playing around with the puppies, watching tv and finishing a Really Good Book. Sometimes not doing anything important is the best thing to do and I feel really energized now because of it.

Orange Leaves, pencil in sketchbook, Carolyn Pappas 2008

I have been very busy for the past few days moving and getting settled in my new home. I have to say that even though this will be a huge adjustment for me, the place itself is really nice and I will be comfortable here. One thing I will love is the abundance of plant life, both indoors and outdoors. I took 20 minutes to sketch these orange leaves from a tree in the backyard. The tree does not have any fruit, either because it is an immature tree or because this is New England and oranges aren’t exactly a native species.

I hope to do a LOT more drawing and painting now that my situation is more settled and I have gotten a lot of things out of my way. Since I have been so preoccupied with other things going on I forgot to mention that I got a nice compliment from Vidhya, who keeps a very nice art blog. She awarded me with this blog award:

Even though I don’t think I’ll continue the chain, I do think it’s a great honor and thanks Vidhya!

Dried Maple Leaves, watercolor and ink (5×7), Carolyn Pappas 2008

I have been putting off trying my new M Graham watercolors for weeks now. I think it was the same sort of thing that people face when they start a brand new sketchbook. I think I was afraid that I would somehow screw something up or forget everything I’ve learned about watercolor thus far. Last weekend I just bit the bullet and did this little painting of some leaves I found in my parking lot. They were dried to a crisp and the colors that I ended up were hardly realistic, but I wanted it to look sunny and happy. I painted this on a watercolor greeting card and am going to send it as a thank you card for someone who gave me a very nice gift.

I am excited about this weekend because I am anticipating a lot of time to spend on my artwork. I also have a few days off from work coming up this month, so I am planning on doing a lot on some of the behind the scenes projects that I’ve been working on.