koukla carolyn

She stood back to look at what she’d done. From this angle, at this remove, it pleased her, but Maxine knew all too well that the eye of the beholder was a fickle thing when the beholder was also the maker. Five minutes from now, from another angle, it would look like shit.

                             -From The Great Man by Kate Christensen, p 117

Silk Flower sketch, graphite in kraft paper sketchbook, Carolyn Pappas, 2008

These days, just doing a simple pencil sketch on Sunday afternoon is getting to be a struggle. My productivity hasn’t been so low since I decided to take art seriously again three years ago. I guess part of it is because there haven’t been this many demands on my time since I graduated from college. I guess I hadn’t realized how chores really eat up my time, or how easy it is to use housework as an excuse not to make art.

Macintosh Apples, colored pencil in 9×12 sketchbook, Carolyn Pappas 2008

I made this sketch of some apples this afternoon and I’m honestly surprised that I even did this as I’ve been sick all weekend. On Friday I had an awful sore throat and by the time I got out of work, I had talked so much during the day that my whole neck felt like it was on fire. On Saturday and this morning I moped around my parent’s house and didn’t do much of anything except sleep and play with the puppies. Today my nose is like a faucet and I feel generally achy all over.

I did do two things which made my weekend a tiny bit productive and not a total waste. One, I made this sketch. I tried to keep it simple by only using four pencils more like drawing pencils. I am pleased that at least I did something artistic and I wanted to do something to commemorate the first day of my favorite season starting tomorrow.  I also hemmed a new pair of pants that I’ve been waiting to wear for a few weeks but didn’t get around to hemming until now.  It was so hard to be bent over my sewing while having a drippy nose, but I have something new to wear tomorrow.

Don’t demand or expect that events happen as you would wish them to. Accept events as they actually happen. That way peace is possible. -Epictetus

Swan Sketch, graphite in 9×12 sketchbook, Carolyn Pappas 2008

I once took a calligraphy class and the instuctor said, “You’ll never see your mistakes unless you work BIG.” Of course she was talking about working in calligraphy and she was explaining why she was having us work in the biggest possible nibs. (She also said she thought I was a monk in a past life!) But I have noticed that the same principle also applies to my art. Today I made this fairly large drawing of a metal swan and it was so difficult. I spent ages just erasing and going over it again and again. I had no idea that it was going to be so frustrating and I didn’t even spend as much time on the details as I could have. Years ago, I drew another version of the same object (see below) but it didn’t seem nearly as hard. I think because it was such a small drawing it was easier to fudge on the details.

Organic Root Beer Bottle, neocolor II crayons in watercolor sketchbook, 2008

Daisies, black pitt pens in sketchbook, 2008

This weekend I ended up being very productive, but not in terms of art. It seems like I did all kinds of things except doing artwork. Today I cooked an unbelievable quantity of food (scones, macaroni and cheese and a big batch of oatmeal), went shopping and cleaned my bathroom. I put drawing off until the very end and now I am do tired I don’t think I can do much more. For some reason my right arm has been aching for the past two days. Yesterday I was feeling sort of fearful to do any drawing for fear of making it worse but today I did a lot of manual labor and my arm doesn’t feel worse for the wear. I think that I have just been trying to avoid things that have been bothering me lately, sort of like my TMS days.