koukla carolyn

My Features, black pitt pen and graphite in kraft paper sketchbook, 2008

November has definitely been my most productive month of the year so far, in terms of how many days I’ve drawn. I’ve done something in my sketchbook for most of the days this month and already I’ve done more sketching than some past months. I’m still working on portraits—here is another self portrait. I really do have beautiful eyes, although they often go crossed on me and they are always covered up by glasses (so no one ever notices them).  I would wear contacts but I am “not a candidate” as my eye doctor puts it. On another note, I have never attempted to do a self portrait with pointillism. It is incredibly slow going with all the constant glances back to the mirror!

I am also trying out some drawings from old family photos. Here is a drawing of my Papou when he graduated from college after WWII. I have left this one unfinished as I did not quite capture the expression correctly. This is already my second attempt and I am trying to decide if I want to try another iteration. I think I would like to get it framed if I ever do it again though, so doing it in my sketchbook is not a very good idea anyway. I do like the sepia ink on the tinted paper so maybe I will hunt around for some brown paper suitable for ink.

Papou upon Graduation, unfinished; sepia pitt pen in kraft paper sketchbook; 2008

Bonnie and the Bird; graphite, marker and colored pencil in 9×12 sketchbook; 2008

Bonnie, a childhood friend. Well traveled, gorgeous—easily the kind of person that could make someone feel inadequate. But Bonnie is so gracious, soft spoken and kind that I don’t think anyone ever felt that way. I drew this from a photo of her sister’s.

I’ve been practicing portraits lately to brush up on my skills. About 10 years ago or so I went through a phase where I drew nothing but portraits, copying from photos of models in magazines. It took me a long time but I learned the basics through a lot of practice and art instructional books. I still cringe when I look at stuff I have from back then. One thing that I’ve always avoided however, is drawing open mouthed portraits. I never drew anything with someone smiling because the teeth never came out right. I was so frustrated when everyone came out with buck teeth. That basically rules out drawings of friends and family from snapshots as most of the time people are smiling. Thanks to a lot of great suggestions from folks in the EDM group, I was able to finish this drawing. I definitely need more practice but the teeth do look better than what I could have done before.

Leaf, face down; ink and colored pencil; Carolyn Pappas, 2008

Leaf, face up; graphite; Carolyn Pappas, 2008

“The artist must find an environment, a pattern of living, that will protect his or her energies: the art must be cultivated, must be given priority.”

“A journal as an experiment in consciousness. An attempt to record not just the external world, and not just the vagrant, fugitive, epemeral ‘thoughts’ that brush against us like gnats, but the refractory and inviolable authenticity of daily life: daily-ness, day-ness, day-lightness, the day’s eye of experience.”

-Joyce Carol Oates  

I’ve been reading The Journal of Joyce Carol Oates: 1973-1982, although I haven’t read much of her fiction writing except for a few short stories for college. I love reading about her process and the struggles she had with balancing her day job of being a college professor with her writing demands. It reminds me a lot of how I feel with my artwork. I have recently been really driving myself to draw daily, even if only for an hour after work. It does invigorate me and I enjoy tracking my progress on a little grid that I keep. I’ve been trying to really challenge myself even if that means making a lot of drawings that I would never post. I think there’s really no way that I will ever improve unless I take some risks and try to do something different.

Self Portrait with Lipstick; graphite, marker and colored pencil in 9×12 sketchbook; Carolyn Pappas, 2008

Self Portrat, circa 1987; Sepia PITT pen; Carolyn Pappas, 2008

Self portraits are one of the hardest things to draw for me, and I think for most people. It’s hard enough to draw a likeness and drawing yourself often brings up a lot of insecurities about appearance and expectations. I find it strange that this weekend I drew these two self portraits. In fact, I have drawn four in only two months or so. Perhaps it is because I am a free agent again and I want to establish myself as an individual. Another reason is that I am interested in improving my portrait skills and when you don’t have a model, you can always look in the mirror. I am not so sure the reason, but it is definitely a subject I will return to again.

I’ve never participated in any of the SketchCrawls before even though I’ve wanted to since the first one back in 2004. I always either had something else going on or was depressed/stressed or just a procrastinator. Right now I’m in unfamiliar territory in terms of where I live and who I know so I thought doing it solo would be the best the first time around. Since the weather is bad today, I decided to go to the mall, which ended up working out just fine. My goal was to stay for four hours and I was successful in that regard, but I did not get as much drawing done as I would have liked. 

Dirty Cop and Naughty Nurse, graphite and PITT pen in 9×12 sketchbook, Carolyn Pappas, 2008

My first stop was to Starbucks to get a Pumpkin Spice Latte and the straight to Frederick’s of Hollywood. I have to say that I enjoy public sketching—I like the attention and the stares and the compliments from complete strangers. But the attention I got from doing this was a bit too much. This was the only time that someone has winked at me while I was drawing. I also had a variety of male onlookers, from around age 16 to age 60. I did want to color the whole thing but had to stop because it was just too creepy. It was fun to watch random people get embarrassed by just walking in front of the store though.

Hollister Mannequin, graphite in 9×12 sketchbook, Carolyn Pappas, 2008

After Frederick’s I sat in front of Hollister and drew this mannequin. I was attracted to the strong lightsource and the folds in the garments, but this was very difficult. First of all, the teenybopper clientele made me want to gag and they kept bumping into the mannequin, ruining the folds in the sweater. Also, the same clientele had a penchant for loitering in front of the subject, which was annoying. On a postive note, two teenage girls asked me if I was an artist and said they liked the drawing. Then an old lady and her middle aged daughter sat down next to me and looked on admiringly.

Starbucks Cup, graphite in 9×12 sketchbook, Carolyn Pappas, 2008

By the time I finished the second sketch, I was hungry and had to have something to eat. I was also tired out and feeling pretty cross in general. I drew my Starbucks cup in the food court and spent quite a bit of time on the logo, even though I still didn’t get it right. By that time I had a cramp in my arm and had to go home.

I have learned some lessons for my next sketchcrawl. First of all, I need to lighten my load. I brought way more supplies with me than I actually used. I think next time I’m just going to bring my pencils, eraser, sharpener and sketchbook. Also, if I have a chance to visit the location first I think it would be a good idea to scout out possible subjects beforehand. I wasted a lot of time wandering around from place to place wondering what I should draw next. I would also bring my own seating, like one of those little pop up stools. This would allow me to really get a good angle and enjoy the process more. Another thing I think I should focus more on is quantity rather than quality. I found myself too caught up in the details which just made me fatigued and sick of it too soon. All in all, I think this was great practice and really exhilarating. The biggest realization I made is that my skills at drawing the human figure are severly deficient. I must find a life drawing class and practice religiously!

Three Pears, Graphite in 9×12 sketchbook, Carolyn Pappas, 2008

Three Pears, Tombow Brush Pens in 9×12 sketchbook, Carolyn Pappas, 2008

I’m usually not the type to participate in online challenges, mostly because I procrastinate and never finish them on time. But I did decide to participate in the October Virtual Sketch Date. I did it first in graphite yesterday evening and then did the marker version tonight. They are different as you can see, and I was a lot more careful in the pencil version. I like the colored version for the looseness though. I don’t think I was particularly accurate to the reference image in either case however, as I didn’t spend the time necessary to really go after accuracy. I can’t wait to see what other people come up with. I already saw S G Chipman’s and was blown away, but then again, when does he not blow me away?

She stood back to look at what she’d done. From this angle, at this remove, it pleased her, but Maxine knew all too well that the eye of the beholder was a fickle thing when the beholder was also the maker. Five minutes from now, from another angle, it would look like shit.

                             -From The Great Man by Kate Christensen, p 117

Silk Flower sketch, graphite in kraft paper sketchbook, Carolyn Pappas, 2008

These days, just doing a simple pencil sketch on Sunday afternoon is getting to be a struggle. My productivity hasn’t been so low since I decided to take art seriously again three years ago. I guess part of it is because there haven’t been this many demands on my time since I graduated from college. I guess I hadn’t realized how chores really eat up my time, or how easy it is to use housework as an excuse not to make art.

We are like actors in a play. The divine will has assigned us our roles in life without consulting us….Although we can’t control which roles are assigned to us, it must be our business to act our given role as best as we possibly can and to refrain from complaining about it. Wherever you find yourself and in whatever circumstances, give an impeccable performance. If your are supposed to be a reader, read; if you are supposed to be a writer, write. -Epictetus

Self Portrait, 9×12 sketchbook, Carolyn Pappas 2008

Flattering, no; honest, yes. This does look like an odd pose, mainly because I was crunched up on the floor drawing myself in front of a full length mirror. Even though I have a sort of weird look on my face, I have to say that this is one of my better self portraits in terms of likeness and the speed at which I got it done.

I haven’t been in the mood lately to use big, bold colors. Plain pencil is what I am drawn to using these days. I drew this sketch with a B pencil mainly for the skin and using softer pencils later on. I used to work in graphite by smudging the piece to death with paper stumps and tortillions. Nowadays I am finding that shading by hatching is much more my style. I think I have grown comfortable with using lines after working in pen and ink for so long.

The Lady of the House, graphite (9×12), Carolyn Pappas 2008

My Yiayia (grandmother) kept this little woman nestled among her houseplants. On Wednesday she had an unfortunate run in with my mother’s four month old German Shepherd puppy, but she was unscathed. Seeing her toppled over on the floor reminded me that I had been wanting to draw her for a long time now. I had once done a sketch of her when I was a young teenager but it didn’t come out very well. I made this sketch yesterday after work.

Don’t demand or expect that events happen as you would wish them to. Accept events as they actually happen. That way peace is possible. -Epictetus

Swan Sketch, graphite in 9×12 sketchbook, Carolyn Pappas 2008

I once took a calligraphy class and the instuctor said, “You’ll never see your mistakes unless you work BIG.” Of course she was talking about working in calligraphy and she was explaining why she was having us work in the biggest possible nibs. (She also said she thought I was a monk in a past life!) But I have noticed that the same principle also applies to my art. Today I made this fairly large drawing of a metal swan and it was so difficult. I spent ages just erasing and going over it again and again. I had no idea that it was going to be so frustrating and I didn’t even spend as much time on the details as I could have. Years ago, I drew another version of the same object (see below) but it didn’t seem nearly as hard. I think because it was such a small drawing it was easier to fudge on the details.